Empty pockets in an expensive life

Being poor is not free and it's not liberating. It's worse than a prison of no opportunity. I can still see everyone around me enjoying the money they have, even if it's little. Even if those around me are complaining about budgeting here and there, they can still afford the occasional Subway, Starbucks or weekly shop.

I currently have £7 in my bank account, £3 in my wallet and owe about £2000 plus student loans (which don't necessarily count) on top of the usual monthly bills like rent and the use of the internet and phone. That is what I would call limited finances.

What I would love to do is what I used to do during the summer breaks of high school and sixth form: take a £7 train to the countryside - with many connections and a final rickety train that sounds like its got a cold - and just escape for a while. There seems to be no place far enough away from my current location that I can get to for free. Even an hour walk to Canon Hill Park is unsuccessful because it's home to one of my work places.

I had temporary joy when I bought The Observer and sat in The Junction for two hours reading it. Unable to actually buy a cup of tea or sandwich to go with it, my stomach was complaining. But I was fairly happy to be finally escaping the world. Albeit, I was still in my place of work. Maybe on Sunday I was just feeling a bit more perky and things didn't bother me that much as a result of the simply excellent present I'd just found for the housemate (the one who makes a regular appearance on here, usually subject of a petty complaint - do be assured, I adore him even with his tedious faults).

Sitting on the sidelines and watching other people have such comfort is the push to deeply want to be part of it all. It's about mid-December, now, so it's coming dangerously close to the time when everyone starts reminiscing about the year or being determined to forget the whole thing and have an incredible new year instead. A good friend once put some light into my life and asked why New Years' Resolutions exist. Just because we hit January 1st doesn't mean that the clock resets and suddenly everything is possible again. There's no reason why December 12th or June 19th (my birthday - I expect cards and presents now you know) or May 6th or April 20th or even August 1st shouldn't be a day to change your life. It doesn't even have to be the morning of a day. You can decide to change your life at 11pm if you really want to. If you're having trouble getting this, have a listen to Ellie Goulding's Anything Could Happen and carpe the sh** out of that diem.